Into the Void
by LostLonelyBoi
Summary: Rubble lies everywhere I look. Somehow I've ended up on what's left of the ledge and looking down around me. Dark thoughts enter my head and I contemplate taking that final step. This is what's left of me. I am broken and beaten; an empty shell of who I once was.
1. Chapter 1

I can't breathe. I feel as if I'm suffocating. I have to get out of here. The war is finally over. Families have been torn apart. Fighting and being on the run for the past year has left me drained. I'm just standing here, silent and still, an empty shell that is supposed to be Hermione Granger. I'm no longer the brightest witch of my age.

Arms suddenly surround me and spin me around. Before I know what's happening, my wand is pointed at his face. "Are you trying to get yourself killed Ronald!" I couldn't control the anger rising from my voice. My hand starts shaking violently and the fear on his face was more than I could stand. I turn around and start running. The whole family was standing nearby and saw the whole ordeal. The fear in Gin's eyes hurt me the most.

I'm running as fast as I can. I have no idea where I'm going but I know I have to get out of here. I can't face him; I can't face anyone right now. My legs have taken me to what's left of the Astronomy tower. The view breaks my heart. My beloved school and second home is in ruins.

"Bloody hell!" Ron shakes his head in disbelief. Ginny comes up to stand beside him. "Did you see what happened just now?" he asks her. "All I did was hug her. Next thing I know, her wand is in my face, she's screaming at me, and then running off. What the hell!"

"Stay and help mom out. I'll go find her," Ginny tries to reassure him. She has no idea where Hermione is. There are a million places she could have run to and probably only half of those are now accessible due to the chaos and destruction.

The tower was only half as tall as it once was. Rubble lies everywhere I look. Somehow I've ended up on what's left of the ledge and looking down around me. Dark thoughts enter my head and I contemplate taking that final step. This is what's left of me. I am broken and beaten; an empty shell of who I once was. What was the purpose of this damn war if I was feeling like this? I thought I would feel free when it was over. I am still standing dangerously close to the edge when I hear a small rock fall. I turn around in the direction the sound came from and my heart lifts a little.

"Mione." It was barely a whisper but it reached my ears. My heart swells just a bit before blackness consumes me.

Ginny had never been more thankful for her quick reflexes due to playing Quidditch. She was able to catch Hermione before she hit the ground. Not quite knowing what to do she sent her patronus off to Madame Pomfrey. Gin knew better at this point than try to take Hermione back herself. She needed to keep the older girl away from prying eyes and that seemed to especially include her brother.

Tears were streaming down her face, sobs trying to erupt from her throat. "Stay with me Mione. I can't lose you too." She held the girl tightly in her arms until help arrived.

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A/N: I apologize for the bad formatting this had. I didn't realize it was all run together.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy.

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Ch 2

I'm not sure where I am. Bright light is trying to force itself upon me. I feel the presence of someone near me and a hand in mine. I try to open my eyes but they refuse. I don't mind much once I begin to hear the hushed voices around me.

I hear Ron's voice and it makes me cringe. He's been in love with me for years. I thought I was with him, but after the kiss we shared during the battle I knew immediately my feelings for him had changed. It was a meaningless kiss in the middle of chaos; simply a shared moment in time. I have to end this before it gets worse.

His voice keeps fading and coming back. He must be pacing, which means the hand in mine is not his. This brings me relief but I still don't know whose hand it is. Whoever it is, they aren't speaking. I hear Harry's voice too. He seems to be far away from me. That narrows it down then I guess.

Madame Pomfrey's voice starts filling the air and telling everyone they need to leave. Relief fills me again as the hand refuses to leave mine. Shuffling steps soon become silence and I can feel the nurse doing her diagnostic tests on me.

"She should wake soon," I hear the school nurse say before she walks away. Quiet sobs work their way to my ears. I still can't move or speak. Whatever potions the nurse gave me really need to wear off. Not that I could go anywhere when I'm surrounded by others.

Here I am, left to my thoughts. Let me tell you, it's not a pretty place to be. I am trying hard to not think about the void in my body. But the harder I try, the stronger it grows. I need out of here. I've got to get away. Dammit I wish I could move! My head finally quiets down and I fall asleep.

... "Crucio!" Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs. Bellatrix wanted answers and she wouldn't tell her what she wanted to hear. She was telling the truth after all. Soon enough, the feel of a blade against skin brought forth a guttural scream followed by a maniacal laugh. Bellatrix took her time carving in the dreaded name. By the time she got to the end Hermione was welcoming the feel of blade against skin. …

When I woke up I didn't know where I was. It took a bit for my eyes to adjust to the low lighting of the hospital wing. My right arm is numb because someone is asleep on my forearm. I don't dare move because I don't want to wake up whoever it is. My left arm is itching badly and I suddenly remember my nightmare. Oh how I wish I didn't dream about that night. That night haunts me every night and day and makes the void expand. I have to find a way to get out of here.

I see Madame Pomfrey walking towards me. I raise my finger to my mouth so she won't say anything. She runs another diagnostic spell and gives me a thumb up. I smile weakly at her and nod. I look over at the red head sleeping on my arm.

"Gin." It comes out as barely a whisper as my voice doesn't want to work. "Ginny, it's time to wake up."

She still doesn't hear me so I try to gently pull my arm out from under her. I hear a groan come from the sleeping girl but she doesn't move. I slowly get out of the bed as to not wake her up and leave the wing.

I find myself avoiding everyone at all costs. I don't want to see anyone; especially Ron. Mrs. Weasley spots me as I'm trying to get out of the castle. Soon I'm embraced in one of her bear hugs and can't get away.

"Hermione, dear, I've been so worried about you."

"I'm fine. Really. I have to leave." I try turning away but Molly won't let me.

"You will do no such thing dear. You're coming with us to the Burrow. I'll hear nothing of it. Come, let's find the boys and Ginny."

I groan to myself. This is the last thing I want. An hour later finds us all in the kitchen of the Burrow and Molly immediately starts making breakfast for everyone.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy.

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Ch 3

Breakfast was quiet and the silence was deadening. I excused myself and went out for a walk. I had no idea where I was going but I found myself walking along the stream that flowed near the edge of the Weasley property. I found the log that stretched over the stream and crossed it and started following the path up the hill. I soon found myself at a small clearing overlooking the valley and the Burrow.

My arm was starting to hurt for some reason. I looked down to see why and saw that I had scratched it raw again over the letters that were carved into my skin. Everything came crashing down again. I have to get out of here and I have to do it soon.

The sound of a branch breaking catches my attention and I'm on my feet with my wand drawn. Ginny steps into the clearing and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hey" the young girl says cautiously. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

I sit back down on the ground still clutching my wand. She slowly comes up and sits beside me.

"Are you ok" she asks.

"No Gin, I'm not." I don't look over at her; I can't. If I were to look at her she would see the fear in my eyes and I can't allow that.

"I'm here for you, always, whenever you're ready to talk. Mum's worried so you might want to think about coming back to the Burrow. I expect dinner to be ready soon."

Have I really been out here this long? Ginny stands up and takes a few steps away. I can see her look at me out of the corner of my eye before she decides to start heading back. A few more minutes pass before I give in and start walking back too.

I stop at the edge of the tree line of the garden and sit down next to one of the trees. I'm trying to hold back the tears and the void that wants to consume me. I catch a glimpse of another red headed figure walking toward me.

"Go away Ron." There was a bite to my words. They weren't necessarily callous but they weren't friendly either.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" He tries to envelop me in his arms but I get my arm extended before he can.

"I said go away. What part of that didn't you understand?" Here we go. This isn't going to end well. Maybe this can be my escape. I'm on my feet and trying to get past him. Ron grabs my arm and swings me back around. Unlucky for him as my hand happens to leave a nasty mark across his face. "Don't. Touch. Me."

"What the hell Hermione?" The look on his face was a mixture of sadness and surprise.

I turn around and sprint back to the house. I manage not to rip the door off its hinges and slow down enough to walk through the house and upstairs to the room I share with Ginny. Everyone's eyes had been on me as I had walked through the kitchen. A few minutes later I heard the door open and close followed by Mrs. Weasley's voice, "Ron what happened to you?"

"Hermione" was all he could say.

"Well, maybe you should give her some space. You've all been through a great ordeal. Come, sit down and have dinner. Don't look at me like that young man. Sit down."

I silently thank Molly for making him stay down there.

I put some silencing and locking charms on the door to keep everyone out. My trunk escaped damage that night the Burrow was attacked by death eaters last summer during Bill & Fleur's wedding. I pulled my beaded bag out of my pocket and emptied its contents. I quickly take inventory of everything and start replacing my bag's contents with clothes and immediate necessities leaving all my books in my trunk.

There's a faint knocking on the door. I release the silencing charm and stay quiet. I can see the shadow of someone sitting on the other side.

"Mione, it's Gin. I just want to know if you're alright."

"May as well come in, Gin. It's your room anyhow." I release the locking charms to let her in.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm trying to transition into 3rd person. There may be some more 1st person in future chapters however.**

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Ginny noticed the open trunk in the room. She had a feeling as to what was coming but really hoped she's wrong. "Tell me you're not leaving."

"I have to Gin. There's nothing for me here right now. I have to go find my parents anyhow." Hermione couldn't even look the younger girl in the eyes. She didn't want Ginny to see the pain that lay under the surface.

"Well take me with you. I'll help you find them. Surely two heads would be better than one."

The younger girl was trying hard no to sound like she was begging. Hermione is her best friend and she didn't want to spend another moment away from her. The past year was really hard on Ginny since her friends had disappeared to start their quest.

"Gin, you know your mum would never let you come with me. I made my parents forget everything and move all on my own, so it's up to me to make things right again. I have to fix what I did and only I can do that."

Hermione chanced looking up to see Ginny's reaction. She wasn't surprised to see the disappointment on the girl's face.

With a tear trailing its way down her face, Ginny simply asked "When?"

"I'm not sure… as soon as I can. I have to make sure that I have everything I need first."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did Gin"

"When did the great Hermione Granger get a sense of humor?" A smirk crept upon the younger girls face. "Seriously though… What happened with Ron?" Ginny knew automatically that she crossed a line when she saw the look on her friends face.

"I don't want to talk about him. And please don't tell him that I'm leaving. I can't deal with that right now."

"You know I'm here for you right? You can talk to me about anything."

"I know Gin, but I can't right now. It hurts too much and I need to be alone for a while."

"Do you know what you're going to do after you find your parents?"

"Come back home most likely. That is if I can find them."

"What about school? Do you think you'll finish your last year?"

"I'm not sure Gin. I haven't really thought about it yet."

Mrs. Weasley could be heard calling everyone for dinner. As much as Hermione didn't want to deal with everyone she decided to go down for at least one last Weasley family meal.

"Come on Gin. I want to get this over with quick as possible." She reached her hand out for the youngest Weasley and pulled her into a hug. "Promise me you won't give up on me."

"Never Mione."

Dinner was a quiet affair. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley kept trying to get conversation going but no one would take the bait. Hermione kept thinking of all the things she needed to get accomplished. First she would return to her home to check on the state of things and use her computer to try to locate her parents through the Internet. She would also have to book a flight to Australia and find lodging.

Her nerves were beginning to fray when she noticed that Ron wouldn't quit staring at her. "It's not nice to stare at people, Ronald."

"Huh?" Ron replied. "I...I wasn't. I...Um..."

"You were Ronald and it's very unbecoming."

Hermione stood up and took her plate and cup into the kitchen. She stood at the sink with her hands on the counter, oblivious to Ron following her in. He put his hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Hermione spun around at the sudden touch; an imprint of her hand darkening over Ron's face.

"What part of don't touch me did you forget!" She didn't mean for the words to escape so loudly. Conversation from the dining area had completely ceased.

Hermione left the kitchen and headed for the bedroom to grab her bag. She bolted back down the stairs, out the back door, and ran for the other side of the garden. Ginny was out the door as well trying to catch the older girl.

"Her..." Before Ginny could get her name out she heard the small pop of her best friend leaving. "…mione, please don't go... "

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Hopefully the next chapter will be on time; I have at least half of it written so far. I have a huge art paper to finish writing by this weekend. fun stuff!


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. Here's Ch5 a day early just because I can't wait til tomorrow.**

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Ginny dropped to her knees, sobbing loudly. She had no idea where Hermione was going or when she'd be back. It felt as if her heart was breaking into a million pieces and she had no idea why.

The back door could be heard opening and closing. Ginny just stayed where she was at, frozen in place.

"Ginny, dear, where'd Hermione go?" Mrs. Weasley asked, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"She left mum... I... I... I have no idea where she went. I wanted to go with her; she wouldn't let me." Another sob left the young girl's mouth.

Molly lifted Ginny up on her feet and ushered her back to the house. Ginny slowly made her way up to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed. A few moments later there was a knock on the door.

"Leave me alone," she said to whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Ginny, let me in. What's going on?" Harry asked.

Ginny got up off her bed and opened the door a crack. "Are you alone?"

"Yeah" he answered.

She opened the door to let him in. Harry sat down on the camp bed that Hermione used. Ginny shut the door and returned to her bed while casting silencing spells on the door. Harry didn't say anything and waited for her to speak first.

"I don't know why she left Harry. She wouldn't even tell me what happened with Ron. I know she was planning on leaving, but I thought I had more time. She wouldn't let me go with her, said my mum probably wouldn't let me. I caught her going through her trunk there, but I have no idea what she took or what she left."

Harry listened in silence as she rambled on while processing everything she was saying.

"I have to find her Harry. I can't lose her." Ginny sounded absolutely defeated as she spoke.

"Don't worry Gin. I'm sure she'll be ok. We're not going to lose her. It's Hermione we're talking about after all. Do you have any idea where she was going?" He thought he knew where she'd go but wasn't entirely sure.

"All I know is she wants to find her parents. She said she has to do it alone since what she did to them was done alone. It was a bit cryptic if you ask me." Ginny had a slight smirk on her face as she said the last bit.

"So she's going to Australia. That helps us out a bit you know. Get some sleep tonight Gin. I'll try to locate her before she leaves for there. You know how Hermione is; she has to have things planned out first. I'll go to London in the morning and see if I can find her."

"Thank you Harry."

"No problem Gin." Harry got up and walked to the door. "I'll talk to Ron too and find out his side of things. I admit something seemed off with them."

Ginny nodded in response and locked her door after Harry left. She walked back to her bed and flopped down. Hermione's trunk caught her eye. If the current situation was anything but what it was she wouldn't dare look through someone else's personal things. But she had to look for clues.

A quick search of the trunk didn't yield the results that Ginny was hoping for. It was up to Harry now to help her out. Ginny laid down on her bed and fell into a restless slumber.

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Hermione apparated into the alley near her house in London. She kept her head down and quickly made the short trek to the house and inside. After checking that all the rooms were empty and secure, she locked the house up and headed upstairs to her room.

Deciding again to check the contents of her beaded bag, Hermione dumped everything on the floor once again. She had a tent and camping gear, some clothes, a few medical supplies, and a few miscellaneous things. As she was packing everything back up again she happened upon a tightly folded piece of parchment, but instead of seeing what was written on it, she just threw it back in the bag with everything else.

Hermione went over to her desk and started up her computer. First she was going to do some searching to see if she could find what town her parents may be in. As she was waiting for her computer to start up, Hermione started rummaging through her closet for some more clothes to take with her to Australia.

When the computer was ready, she returned to the desk to begin her search. Hermione had modified her parents' memories a year ago and had given them the names Wendell and Monica Wilkins. So began the search for her parents. She found two towns that had dentists with the Wilkins name, making Melbourne and Brisbane the two places she would have to visit. Now it was on to airfare. After making arrangements to get to Melbourne for the next evening, the bushy-haired girl turned off her computer and decided it was time for bed.

Loud, crazy knocking on the front door woke Hermione up the next morning. She grabbed her wand and slowly made her way down the stairs to the foyer and looked out the peephole on the door. She saw Harry standing on the other side as he was raising his fist to knock again. Taking a defensive stance, with her wand raised, at the door, she quickly opened it and Harry stumbled into the foyer since his fist failed to make contact with the door. Harry immediately noticed the wand in his friend's hand and the raven-haired boy raised his hands in surrender.

"Easy there, Hermione. I'm just here to see if you're okay," he said quietly as he kept his eyes on the wand in front of him.

Sensing there was no immediate danger from her friend, Hermione lowered her wand and shut the door. She turned around and headed for the kitchen. "Would you like some tea Harry" she asked over her shoulder before entering the kitchen.

Harry slowly started following her and replied "Umm, sure." He entered the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools at the island bar watching his friend closely. "Are you okay Hermione? You've been a bit odd the last few days. I mean, I get it, it's all surreal you know."

Hermione stared at Harry; she felt her blood beginning to boil. "Why are you here really?" Her tone was cold and it sent shivers down Harry's spine.

"She's worried about you. Ginny, that is. She begged me to try to find you. I figured this would be the first place you'd go." Harry looked down at his hands as he spoke. He couldn't find the courage to look at his friend. "And Ron, he's… well, I don't know what he is."

"Harry, just stop." Hermione was fighting back all the things she wanted to say to him about Ron. "And tell Ron he can bugger off for all I care. I'm not his girlfriend although I'm guessing he thinks otherwise…"

The kettle on the stove started screaming, interrupting whatever else would have been said about their friend, and Hermione went to turn it off and poured the water into two cups for the tea. She handed one to Harry and took the other seat at the bar.

Harry knew by the response he got to leave the subject of Ron alone. "Let me go with you at least," he begged her. "We can find them together. You don't need to do this alone."

"No, Harry. I'll tell you like I told Gin, I made my parents forget everything and move all on my own, so it's up to me to make things right again. I have to do this by myself. I can't have any distractions."

"When are you leaving?" he asked curiously.

"Today, I'm leaving today. I have two leads to check out. Hopefully it won't take long and I'll be back soon." She was giving away more information than she wanted to, but she knew he wouldn't let things go.

"So what should I tell everyone?" He was really hoping he could share this knowledge with the others but he somehow felt that that wouldn't be the case.

"Don't tell anyone anything. You're lucky that I told you at all. I know you're worried about me, and you should be. But I beg you not to worry about me. I'm fine." She knew these words were anything but true, but she had to make him believe it.

"You'll come back to us, right?" He knew she wasn't okay.

"I'll come back here at the very least. Give me three weeks Harry. If you don't hear anything from me by then, then you can worry. But you have to promise me you won't tell anyone anything until then. I know Ginny will get it out of you somehow, but please don't let anyone else know."

"Yeah, Hermione, I promise. Good luck. If you need me, you better let me know."

Hermione nodded in response and put the tea cups in the sink. She walked Harry back into the living room, and as two sets of sorrow filled eyes met, he apparated away. Later that evening, Hermione was on a plane headed for Australia.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. **

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Harry arrived back at the burrow. Ginny had heard the popping sound of someone apparating and rushed to the kitchen door. She threw open the door and started walking toward him. Harry stopped where he was, turned around, and started walking towards the shade trees that lined the creek at the back of the property. He sat under one of the shade trees and a minute later Ginny sat down beside him.

She wanted to ask him what he found out but was afraid to. After a few minutes of silence she finally managed to ask. "Did you find her?"

"Yeah, I did. I feel like something is wrong with her. I just can't put my finger on it though." He had promised Hermione that he wouldn't tell anyone the details but he knew he wouldn't be able to keep anything from the young red head. "You were right though, she's being cryptic as hell," he continued.

"Well, where is she? Take me to her. I want to go with her and help." Ginny begged Harry to fill her in on what he knew.

"It's too late Gin. She's probably already gone. I had to promise her I wouldn't say anything about what we talked about."

"I don't care about promises Harry. I care about her. Where's she going and when is she coming back?"

Ginny was trying her hardest to be civil, but her anger was starting to get the best of her, especially since she let it slip that she cared deeply about Hermione. Harry knew all too well about the Weasley temper the family had and was desperate not to be on the receiving end of it.

"We all care about her Gin. I don't know exactly where she's headed, honestly. She wouldn't tell me. And if I tell you anything else, you have to promise me that this stays between us and that you won't get angry." Harry looked her in the eyes trying to express the truth of what he was telling her.

"You know I can't control it Harry, but I'll try." Ginny did not like this feeling of defeat. She'd felt it too much the past week and it was all she could do to keep it together. At the same time, she knew that Harry was doing his best. She knew that he had probably offered to go with her and that Hermione had more than likely turned down his offer too.

"Three weeks. She said give her three weeks and if we don't hear from her by then, then we can do something." He looked at the ground as he finished telling her this, pulling at a blade of grass.

Ginny felt tears welling up in her eyes. She looked out over the small creek and thought about what Harry had told her. She couldn't help but think that something was wrong with Hermione. The older girl had seemed a bit distant and had been shutting herself off from everyone. She thought back to the night that the war ended. Why had her best friend been standing in the rubble of the astronomy tower? And not only just being there, but the fact that she had been so close to the edge. If she hadn't had shown up when she did… No, she couldn't think that. Surely not. Hermione would never do that, right? She was the strongest person she knew.

Harry stood up and reached his hand toward Ginny to help her up. He realized she was in her own little world with her thoughts. "Gin. Come on, let's go back home." A minute went by and she still hadn't noticed him. "Gin" he said a bit louder. "Come on," he said while snapping his fingers in front of her face.

She snapped out of her thoughts and took his hand as he helped her up. Walking slowly, they made their way back to the Burrow.

"Thank you, Harry, for telling me," she said softly as they reached the back door. Harry nodded in response and they went their separate ways, Harry to the room he shared with Ron and Ginny to hers.

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24 hours later, Hermione was standing in the middle of the Melbourne Airport. She made her way through the terminal and out the front doors. She called a cab and had it take her to the nearest hotel.

Once she was in a room, she pulled out a map and the local phone book to start planning the next day. Since it was early in the morning, she wanted to give herself plenty of time to plan. She located the dental office and its proximity to the hotel. It was a few miles away, but it wouldn't be a terrible walk.

Hermione debated with herself whether she wanted to rest for the day and begin the search tomorrow or just get it over with now. Deciding on the latter, she went to the cafe across the street for lunch before heading off for the dental office. The five mile walk went rather quickly and she soon found herself standing in front of the office.

She went to open the door and walk in but it was locked. So focused on just getting there, she didn't realize the paper signs that were taped to the glass inside the door. The office was closed up and it looked like it hadn't been open in months. She found this rather odd and decided to do what she does best and look into it.

Hermione grabbed a cab and told the driver she'd like to go to the library. After a twenty minute drive, they arrived at their destination and she paid the cab driver. She walked into the library and went up to the counter. She told the lady who was working that she needed to look through some recent newspapers because she was trying to find her parents. The lady told her to go up to the third floor and that she'd find what she needed there. Hermione thanked her and started up to the third floor.

She had a feeling of worry come over her as she was walking up the stairs. For whatever reason, her heart started beating faster and her breathing became shallow. Reaching the third floor, she walked over to the periodical section and began her search. Hour after hour went by as she went through newspaper after newspaper. An hour before closing time she found what she didn't want to see.

A picture no bigger than an inch caught her eye. It was her parents. Two months ago, Wendell and Monica Wilkins had passed away in a horrific car crash. Hermione felt her whole world crash around her and the void slipped in once more.

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**I have written through ch 11, so don't hate me too bad. It's gonna get rough for Hr before it gets better.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. It's Friday and I've written ahead, so you get an extra chapter this week.**

Back to 1st person for this one

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The tears are falling down my face. I take the paper with the obituary in it to the help desk and get a copy to take with me. I stack the rest of the papers up and put them back where I had gotten them. Slowly, I make my way back down the stairs and out of the library. Instead of catching a cab, I start walking down the streets. I have no idea where my hotel is from here. The empty feeling I had back at Hogwarts is catching up with me. This pain is awful.

I have no idea how long I've been walking. It has become darker and lights can be seen everywhere. I eventually flag down a cab and have the driver take me back to the hotel. I manage to get into my room and start packing up my things. For once, I wasn't ready to go on the spot. I had anticipated being here longer.

I take one last look around the room before I head back down to check out. Another cab takes me to the airport. My ticket was a round trip with an open return. Luckily I didn't have to wait long for a flight back to London.

Once on board, I am pretty restless. My arm is hurting something fierce and I catch myself scratching the scars that that bitch left on my arm. The return trip seems longer and I can't seem to get any sleep. I can't believe they're gone. Oh god, what have I done.

Finally, I get back to London. I catch a cab to take me home because I was in no state to apparate. My home. This place holds so many memories. I should be lucky that it's still mine. When I had modified my parents memories, I had them sign over the deed to me so I would have it. I just never believed it would turn out to be like this.

After securing the house, I make my way upstairs and fall on my bed. I allow the darkness to overtake me. Screams wake me hours later. Shit, that was me screaming. That scum of a woman keeps barging into my dreams, making me relive that dreadful night at Malfoy manor. My arm is red and raw again from scratching it in my sleep.

I get up and walk to the bathroom to wash my face off with cold water. Looking up to the mirror, I don't recognize the person I see. A hellish scream works its way out of my mouth and my fist collides with the mirror, sending pieces of the glass everywhere. Blood is running down my knuckles and dripping off my fingers; I can't feel it. I can't feel anything now that I think of it. I pick up a rather nice size chunk of glass and trace my finger along its edge. The tip of my finger is bleeding slightly now. I didn't feel that cut either.

I clean up and bandage up my hand because I know that if I don't, it won't be pretty later. I pick up the piece of glass again and drag it across my arm under my scar. I don't feel it and it takes a minute for the blood to start rising to the surface. I should be able to feel this; why can't I feel this.

The sun is beginning to rise. I can't keep track of how many days it's been since I had left to go to Australia. I should let my friends know that I'm back. I should, but I know right now that I won't. But I'll send a message to them anyway.

Before I head back to my room, I make sure that there isn't any blood on my hands. It wouldn't be good to see blood on the letter that I write now, would it, especially since it was my writing hand that I smashed up. I go sit down at my desk and pull out some parchment and a pen.

_Ginny,_

_Hope all is well with you. I've made it to Australia and have begun searching for my parents. I am hopeful that I'll be able to find them and fix their memories. I have two leads at least, so at least I'm not walking blind._

_I'm sorry for leaving like I did. I know you must be upset with me. But I know your mum would have never let you come with me. I'll be back before you know it. Please don't worry about me, everything will be okay._

_You probably already know this, because I know you're good at getting what you want from people, but I hope to be back in a few weeks. I'll write you when I return._

_My all,_

_Hermione_

Fuck. I don't own an owl. How the hell am I going to send this now? I can either go to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade to send the letter. I can't really show my face at either place though. I'm too recognizable. Like hell if I'm using polyjuice again. I absolutely hated the last time I had to use it, especially because of whom I had to impersonate.

I wash up and make myself somewhat presentable. It's time for some changes and this hair will be the first to change. I apparate near the mall and make my way inside. I'm looking for a salon that can do something with this unruly mess. I finally find a place that isn't too busy and an hour later I come out with shorter hair than I ever imagined possible. It looks pretty good too. Gone is the bushy mess and unruly curls.

I start walking through the mall, not looking for anything particular. A store that has a bit of everything catches my eye. I'm used to seeing specialty stores in malls, but nothing like this. They have a little bit of clothing, but it's mostly odds and ends stuff like artwork, weird sculptures, jewelry, and incense. Some small knives catch my eye. I wouldn't have expected to see them in this place. One in particular has similar wood carvings to my wand. I pick it up and flick the blade out. It looks nice and sharp; I decide on this one purchase.

I walk back out and find a secluded spot to apparate back home; a home that will never really feel welcoming again. I go up to my room and dig out some clothes that are not my typical style and change. I walk into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror and am reminded that I had broken it by all the glass remaining everywhere. I pull out my wand and with a flick the shards put themselves back together. One area of the mirror is a bit stained in red. It looks intriguing. I decide to leave the stain as a reminder of not being able to feel.

I still don't recognize myself in the mirror. I bet no one else will either. I turn on the spot and apparate to Hogsmeade since I think it will be less crowded than the alley. I head to the owl post to send off my letter. Once I've completed the task, I go back to London.

I go up to my room and sit on my bed, pulling the knife I bought out of my bag. It looks so much like my wand; the detail on the handle is amazing. I flick the blade out again and press the edge down into my arm below the other cut and lift it back up. The blood rising quicker than the glass allowed it to. I still can't feel it.

I'm not complaining about not being able to feel, but I would like to feel something. I want to feel the pain because it would be comforting. I need comfort right now.

I grab a cloth from my dresser and wipe off the blade before retracting it. Wrapping the knife in the cloth, I put it back in my bag. I stretch out on my bed and quickly fall asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated. **

* * *

The sound of something pecking at the window wakes Ginny up from her nap. Her eyes are blinking quickly and trying to focus on the window to see what's making that racket. A large, brown barn owl is sitting on the ledge pecking furiously at the window. Ginny gets up and rushes to the window to let it in. The owl flies one circle around the room and lands on her desk. She retrieves the letter attached to its leg and gives the owl a treat and scratches it on the head before it takes off out the window.

The handwriting on the outside isn't familiar making Ginny open the letter carefully. She reads it through a few times. This is not the writing that she is used to from Hermione. The words feel a bit forced.

It's been five days since Hermione had left. It would make sense that she was now getting a letter since Australia is pretty far away. But the owl didn't seem like one that would be native to Australia. It appeared to look like one from around here.

"Something's not right," she said out loud to herself.

Ginny walks slowly down the stairs into the living room where her parents are sitting. She hands her mum the letter for her to read.

"Mum, I have a weird feeling." Ginny isn't really sure what to think but she knows deep down that something is wrong.

"It doesn't look odd to me Ginny," Mrs. Weasley says while handing the letter back to Ginny.

"Her handwriting is off and the words seem forced. She's been acting odd since we all got back home. I really think something is wrong with Hermione. Can I please go to her house and check? I'll get Harry to take me."

Mrs. Weasley looks up at Ginny, clearly thinking about what her daughter has just told her. "Ask Harry to come down here. Let's let him read the letter and then see what he thinks."

Ginny yells for Harry up the stairs and he calls back down. "Harry, come down here for a bit. I've something to show you."

Harry makes his way down to the living room and Ginny hands him the letter. He reads through it a few times and mutters "Something's not right."

"That's what I thought too. Mum, even Harry agrees with me." Ginny looks at her mother, silently pleading with her eyes to let them go to London to check on her.

"One condition" the matriarch says. "Harry, you are not to let this one out of your sight. You two have two hours."

Ginny rushes to her mother and gives her a bear hug. She grabs Harry by the shirt sleeve and drags him out the back door to the apparition area. Harry holds Ginny's hand and they are gone.

* * *

Hermione wakes up and is disoriented a bit. Everything crashes down around her when she realizes where she is.

"Ugh, when is this going to end" she asks herself. She heads to the bathroom to freshen up again and heads downstairs. After checking out the kitchen and seeing that there is no edible food in the place, she grabs her things and heads out to the market down the street.

Hermione takes her time going through the store. She's gathering food similar to what she and the boys ate while they were hunting the horcruxes. Luckily now though, she doesn't have to be quite so careful and avoid everyone. She finishes shopping and gets in the queue to purchase her groceries.

After leaving the store, she ducks into an alley and places charms on the food so the cold stuff will stay cold, then shrinks everything to put in her beaded bag. She doesn't plan on going back to the house immediately. Continuing down the same alley, she heads off in a direction she hasn't been before.

Head down and arms folded across her chest, Hermione keeps wandering aimlessly. In the distance she hears some music. As she gets closer to the source the music gets louder. The beat is fast and not something she usually finds herself listening to. But she's feeling drawn to it. Her eyes are wandering, looking in every dark corner she sees, trying to seek out the source of the music.

She stops in the middle of a rather large alleyway. The pulsing music seems to be bouncing off the building walls. She slowly starts making her way into the alley and around the bend at the end. There are a few dozen people standing around outside of what looks like an unused warehouse.

"Hmm. This could be interesting" she says to herself.

Hermione continues on and walks up to the entrance and gets in the line that is forming. After standing in line for about half an hour, she finally gets to the front of the line. From listening to the others around, she deducts that it's a rave or party of some kind. The kid at the entrance tells her the cost to get in and she happily pays him. He stamps her hand and she enters the warehouse.

* * *

Harry and Ginny walk out of the alley they had apparated to and walk up to Hermione's house. Ginny uses alohamora to unlock the front door and they both enter the house quietly.

"Gin, I'll check out down here. You go upstairs and take a look around." Ginny nods her head in response and slowly walks up the stairs, wand in hand.

Ginny has never been in Hermione's house before so she's not sure which room is hers. She opens the first door to her left and finds a bathroom. Nothing out of the ordinary is obvious but as she glances at the mirror she sees a red smudge on the glass. "That's odd," she thinks to herself.

She walks out of the bathroom and continues down the hall. Slowly opening the next door she comes to, she finds a bedroom. Ginny pushes the door fully open and realizes this is her friend's room. On the wall above her bed is her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. A smile forms on the red head's face as she reads the acceptance letter. Quickly coming back to her senses and remembering what she's doing here, she continues to look around the room. There's a small pile of clothes on the floor by the closet. The desk looks like it's recently been sat at. The bed also looks recently slept in.

Ginny walks back out into the hallway and calls down to Harry. "Harry, come up here!" Harry makes his way upstairs and joins her in the bedroom.

"What did you find Gin," he asks while taking a quick look around.

"Well, it looks like the bed has been recently slept in, the desk looks recently used. Look at the clothes there. And check out the mirror in the bathroom. That looked the most odd" she tells him.

"Yeah, something definitely seems odd here," he says. Harry walks out of the room and heads to the bathroom. "Hey Gin, does that look like blood to you? There's some on the floor there too."

Ginny heads to the bathroom again and confirms Harry's thoughts. "I'm getting worried Harry."

"Me too. Don't worry though, we'll find her. Come on, we need to get back to the Burrow before you mum goes off with worry."

The two friends head back downstairs and apparate to the Burrow from the living room.


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Hermione walked around the edge of the warehouse she's entered. Being the nerdish bookworm that she is, she's never been to any party or gathering outside of Hogwarts. Then again, she'd never really consider the common room real parties all that, even though some of the boys usually snuck in Butterbeer and Firewhiskey.

The beat of the house music is quick. Neon laser lights bounce off the ceiling and walls across the dance area and most of the occupants of the building are wearing neon necklaces and bracelets.

Hermione makes her way to the bar area and waits for someone to help her. She buys a bottle of water and turns around to watch people. One girl catches her eye on the dance floor. The girl has wavy dark hair, at least it looks dark but it's dark in this building. She is dancing with another girl and Hermione watches them both carefully. She glances around to other areas but her eyes keep coming back to the two girls.

Walking away from the bar, she continues in her circle around the lower level of the warehouse. A few people greet her in passing but she doesn't come across anyone that she wishes to meet. Her thoughts are still on the two girls she saw dancing. She literally walks into someone a few seconds later and nearly falls down. A hand grabs her arm and pulls her steady. Hermione looks up to see who caught her and is met with bright blue eyes of the wavy haired girl she was previously watching.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going, obviously," Hermione says to the girl, avoiding eye contact.

"No worries. It happens to the best of us. I'm Lexi, this is Sam," Lexi says pointing to the other girl beside her.

"Hermione," she answers nervously.

"You've never been to a party like this before have you," Lexi asks.

"Ah… no, not exactly. I stumbled upon it and curiosity got the best of me" Hermione replied.

"Well, join us. We've been to a few of these. We'll show you the ropes." Sam spoke up this time with a grin on her face.

Hermione looked at both of the girls carefully and thought to herself, why not. "Sure, why not," she spoke up. "It never hurts to meet new people."

"Awesome" Lexi responded. "Follow us then." Lexi and Sam led Hermione to a small table near the corner.

* * *

Ginny and Harry walked slowly back to the house and into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Mrs. Weasley was not there. Ginny took a seat at the table and Harry joined her.

"What are we going to do Harry," Ginny asked. She was very worried about Hermione and was trying her hardest to control her emotions. The feelings she had for the older girl had been growing over the last few years and she was just now able to realize what these feelings were.

"I don't know Gin. I really don't know. If she's hiding something, she won't want us interfering." Harry had so many emotions going through him, he couldn't sort them properly. The last few weeks have been such a blur, what with the end of the war, burying lost loved ones, and trying to keep up with what his friends are going though, he just couldn't focus properly.

"I can't lose her Harry. We have to try to find her. I really have a bad feeling." Ginny laid her head in her arms on the table.

Ron walked into the kitchen and eyed the two carefully. He sat down next to Harry at the table. "Hey mate," he said to the boy.

Ginny looked up when her brother spoke. "Hey, Ron. Can I ask you something?"

"Hey Gin, what's up," Ron responded.

"What happened last week with you and Hermione? None of us know what's going on." She really wanted to know something on the status of the two. No, she needed to know.

Ron went pale at the question and both Harry and Ginny noticed it. It was one topic that he really didn't want to discuss but it was either now or preferably never. So with reluctance, he told them.

"I really don't know. It's confusing as bloody hell. I thought we were okay, really. Things were going perfect. We destroyed the cup, kissed, and made it through a few near misses back to the great hall. Then she disappeared and ended up in the hospital wing. When we got home, she wouldn't talk to me. It's like she's someone else now entirely."

Ron dropped his head into his hands. This was all very confusing for him. He'd had crush on Hermione for years and had thought he'd finally gotten the girl, but was now wondering if there was any hope in that.

Ginny was trying really hard to hold her temper when she heard her brother say that he kissed the girl she was falling in love with. Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry spoke up.

"We've been through a lot the last year mate, especially that last two months. We wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her."

"Where is she anyway," Ron asked. "She just disappeared on us."

"Dunno mate. I'm sure she'll be back soon." Harry looked over at Ginny as he said this. He saw the worry in her eyes and vowed to himself that he'd help her find Hermione.

* * *

Hermione sat at the table with Lexi while Sam had left to get them drinks. Lexi pulled out what looked like a rolled cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. She held it out for Hermione, who seemed unsure as to take it or not.

"It won't hurt; try it," Lexi said still holding the joint out for her.

Hesitantly, Hermione took it and sniffed at the unlit end. Lexi giggled at her and Hermione shot her a look. Shrugging her shoulders, she thought 'what the hell' and took a drag. The smoke burned her throat and Hermione coughed hard handing the joint back to Lexi.

Sam had returned with their drinks and Hermione was thankful to have water to cool her burning throat. "Another first," Sam asked Hermione while arching her eyebrow her.

"What gave it away," Hermione asked sarcastically.

Sam took the joint from Lexi and took a big drag and held it out for Hermione again. "It won't bite," Sam said with a grin.

Hermione took it from her and took another drag. It didn't burn as bad this time and she was able to let the smoke out slowly. She held her hand out and Sam took it back from her. Calmness was washing over her and Hermione noticed that she was feeling something. Lexi must have noticed this change.

"Dance?" Lexi stood up and held out her hand for Hermione to take.

Hermione glanced at Sam before answering. Sam simply nodded her head so Hermione took Lexi's hand and let her lead her out to the dance floor. Since she wasn't that great of a dancer, she let Lexi take the lead.

Hermione was feeling pretty good and mellow and lost herself in the music. She didn't initially notice the roaming hands along her sides and back and it was a kiss on the neck that brought her back to the present.

"I… I… I have to go," Hermione managed to get out.

"I'm sorry, I thought…" Lexi started but Hermione interrupted her.

"Don't be."

Lexi grabbed a pen out of her pocket and wrote something on Hermione's hand. "Call me sometime, yeah," she said.

Hermione looked at her hand and grinned. "Sure… until next time?"

"I look forward to it." Lexi said returning the smile. "Here, take this…" Lexi handed her another joint from her pocket. "Enjoy the rest of your night," she said and kissed Hermione lightly on the lips.

Hermione turned away from the girl, a smile spread across her face, and slowly made her way back out to the alley, finding a secluded place to disapparate home.

* * *

**I know some of you are like, where is this going. I say, stick with it. It'll get worse before it gets better, but it is going somewhere. And it's my first fanfic ever.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Ginny was sitting on her bed reading a book when there was a knock on the door. She called out for whomever to come in and saw Harry poke his head to look in before entering.

"Hey" he said to Ginny while sitting down on the extra bed in the room.

"Hi Harry" she answered, marking her place in her book and setting it down on the table by her bed.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I had a thought and wanted to get your opinion."

"Okay, what is it," Ginny asked intrigued.

"Well," he started. "I was thinking about going to Hermione's house in the morning to see if I can catch her. I was thinking about taking my cloak with me and keeping an eye on the place and follow her around, you know, see what she's up to and all."

"Will you let me go with you?" Ginny really hoped he'd say yes but she wasn't letting her hopes rise.

"I think it'd be best if I'm alone initially. We don't want to bombard her if there's something major going on." Harry knew she wasn't pushing going and realized that he'd have to come back for her quickly if things went bad. "I promise you, I'll come get if you I think you can help."

"Thanks Harry. It's as good a plan as any right now."

"I'm glad you think so Gin." He stood up and gave her a hug. "Everything will work out, you'll see."

Harry left the room and Ginny let out a big sigh. She stretched out her back and decided to take a shower before heading to bed.

* * *

Hermione remembered the groceries she had bought earlier in the day and went to put them up. She fixed herself a sandwich and sat down at the kitchen island to eat. The evening had turned out to be quite interesting and she was surprised that she was able to have some fun.

"Perhaps it's what I needed," she said to herself.

She glanced at the number written on her hand and got up to search for a notepad and pen to write the number on so it wouldn't be lost. This was the first time she'd ever gotten close to another girl, well, besides Ginny. Her stomach tingled at the thought of Ginny. '_Weird_,' she thought.

Hermione cleaned up her mess in the kitchen and started her way upstairs, stripping her clothes off as she went and dropping them along the way. She headed into the bathroom and started the shower turning the water as hot as she could stand. The brunette stood under the hot water letting it flow over her face.

She thought of Lexi kissing her before she had suddenly up and left. She didn't even really know why she had left like that. She had been actually been having fun. Maybe that's why she left; because she had been feeling things and it scared her. This confused her even more; wasn't she just wishing the previous night to be able to feel anything?

Images of Ginny flashed into her mind again and she realized that she was missing her friend. Hermione really need her friend right now, but she didn't know what to do. She had already lied to her. In all actuality, she was surprised that no one had shown up at the house any this week. Surely they would know the owl that delivered the letter was a local one.

Hermione finished washing herself and turned off the shower. She quickly dried off and wrapped herself in the towel. Walking across the hall to her bedroom, she noticed her jeans on the floor, grabbed her bag out of the pocket, and went to sit on her bed. She pulled the joint out of her bag and held it for a few minutes.

Lifting it up to her nose she smelled the length of it and remembered the calm feeling it gave her at the club. She pulled her wand out of her bag and held it to the end of the joint to light it. The first drag made her cough a bit but her lungs eventually chilled out. She took a few more drags of it before putting it out.

She opened the drawer on her bedside table and pulled out a small square box which she put the remainder of the joint in. The calm feeling was washing over her and she dug out her knife. She flicked the blade out and pressed another line into her forearm. This time she was able to feel a bit of the pain the occurred. The pain felt good. Wiping off her arm and the blade on the towel still wrapped around her, she stood up, set the knife on the table, and pulled back the covers on her bed. She let the towel drop to the floor and crawled into bed allowing sleep to quickly consume her.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm not JK, but you knew that already... Enjoy. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

Harry woke early the next morning, hoping to be able to leave before anyone else at the Burrow was up. The sun was barely staring to rise and he thought the early time would help out the stalking of his friend. He dressed quickly, put his invisibility cloak in his pocket, and went down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before leaving.

Mrs. Weasley walked into the kitchen just as Harry was about to walk out the door. "Where are you headed dear," she asked curiously.

"Oh, good morning, Mrs. Weasley." He wasn't really that surprised to see the Weasley matron this early, but was silently wishing she wouldn't hold him up too terribly long. "I'm just headed out to do some errands. I'll be back this afternoon sometime."

"Okay dear, be careful today. If you need anything, let me know."

"I will, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said.

"Let's forgo the formalities Harry. Call me Molly or mum. You're part of this family now."

"Thanks Molly. See you later then." Harry headed out the door and walked the end of the garden to apparate to London.

Harry pulled his cloak out of his pocket and put it on before leaving the alley. The sun was barely rising so he was sure that Hermione wouldn't be awake just yet. He walked the couple of blocks to her house and quietly let himself inside.

Seeing clothes dropped along the floor and stairs, he knew she was home. He felt again that something was terribly wrong with his friend because she was never one to leave her belongings scattered around. He sat down on the couch in the living room and waited for her to wake up.

Hermione woke around 8 that morning. She sat up in her bed and stretched her back. Standing up and grabbing some clothes off the floor, she made her way into the bathroom. She got dressed and washed off her face at the sink. Glancing in the mirror, she saw the dark circles that had been making themselves an everyday presence under her eyes. She also noticed the lack of light that reflected in her eyes. This shell that she's become has not been very good to her.

She wandered back into her room and stood looking around. She was feeling empty again and needed something to feel better. She sat down on the edge of her bed and picked up her knife. Hermione pulled up the sleeve of her t-shirt, flicked the blade out, and drug the blade across her bicep. The blood instantly started oozing out and running down her arm. The pain of the cut felt comforting and she sat there staring at the trails making their way down to her fingers.

Hermione cleaned off the knife and put it in her bedside table. Not bothering to stop the bleeding or clean her arm, she made her way downstairs into the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee and a couple pieces of buttered toast.

Harry saw her walk through the living room and had followed her into the kitchen. He stood just inside the doorway, still covered with his invisibility cloak, and watched her make the coffee and toast. The sight of the blood on her arm immediately set an alarm off in his head.

Hermione leaned against the counter eating her toast. She was in her own little world when Harry decided to speak up.

"You know everyone is worried as hell about you Hermione. How long have you been back?"

"Bloody hell, Harry! You just scared the shit out of me! Show yourself." She was angry and scared. '_Crap_,' she thought to herself, '_I didn't clean off my arm_.'

Hermione turned around to the sink and grabbed the towel off the counter to wet it and clean off her arm before Harry could see anything. Harry pulled off his cloak and stuffed it into his pocket and took a seat at the island.

"You didn't answer me Hermione," he said. He watched her as she frantically cleaned off her arm. He guessed that she was trying to hide it from him.

"I was only gone a few days," she told him. '_God, why can't I lie to him_' she thought to herself.

"Are you okay? Because you don't look okay. What happened to your arm," he asked her without slowing down.

"I'm fine Harry, honestly." Hermione turned back around to face him. "Why are you here?"

"I already told you, everyone's worried about you, especially Ginny."

"Well, you needn't hardly worry about me Harry. Look, I'm perfectly fine. I told you not to worry about me."

"Maybe so, but you also said that I needed to all the same. What happened in Australia?" Harry realized Hermione was trying to dissuade this conversation, but he was adamant to get the information from her. "You're back a lot sooner than you expected to be. I'm guessing the news isn't good."

Hermione lifted her arm and with a flick of her wrist, summoned the obituary copy from her bag. Harry looked at her with wide eyes. He had never seen her do wandless or wordless magic before, much less the two combined. She placed the obit on the island and stepped back, taking a sip of her coffee. Harry read what was presented to him and his eyes grew even wider.

"My god Hermione, are you okay?" He got up from the stool and walked around the island and scooped her up in a bear hug.

Tears started streaming down the older girls face. "I'm dealing Harry. Really, I'm okay."

Harry stepped back and held her at arm's length. "Would you be okay with Ginny coming to see you? She wanted to come with me, but I wouldn't let her. She's really worried about you." He searched her face trying to gain eye contact.

Hermione looked up and could see the worry spread across his face. "Yeah, sure, Harry. Give me time to pick up around here though."

"Excellent. I'll be back in an hour then."

He gave her another quick hug and walked into the living room. Hermione followed him to watch him leave and immediately started to panic when he disapparated. She picked up the clothes along the stairway and dropped them on the floor in her room.

With a panic attack feeling imminent, she opened her table drawer and pulled out the small box. Carefully opening it with shaky hands, she pulled out the joint, lit it with her wand, and took a few deep drags while holding each breath as long as she could and letting it out slowly. She snuffed the joint out again and put it up. Grabbing the knife off the table, she added to the lines already started on her arm. After adding five or so lines, she was starting to get a bit light headed. She managed to get the knife cleaned off and put away before passing out on her bed.


End file.
